Ok Lord You Have My Attention

The last month and a half have been extremely exhausting both emotionally and physically. I would say I am broken. God has brought me to my knees. I am just waiting patiently and praying to see what he is trying to teach me. Ironically the day of my last post when I was saying I didn't want to go back to UK hospital, I ended up back that very day. Kynleigh was having trouble eating, very fussy, and broken out in a horrible rash all over her body but mostly on her face. I took her to the pediatrician and he was worried about something abdominal. I couldnt help but shake the feeling that the rash was a big part of what was going on but he blew it off. He sent me to UK peds E.R. We were there for like 9 hours. I had nothing to eat all day. It was exhausting. I got to the point I couldnt take it any longer. They said it was a virus, again downplayed the rash, and she was dehydrated. They pumped her with i.v. fluids. The next day I woke up with a rash. I was convinced it was bed bugs. haha. It wasn't funny then but it is now. They were itchy but nothing major. That night I went to bed and my throat was so sore I couldn't talk, and my hands and feet were on fire. I did not sleep at all that night. (okay 2 hours tops!) I got up and looked in the mirror the next morning and I was covered in red blisters from head to toe. Predominately on my hands and feet. It hurt so bad. I can't even begin to explain how bad. I took Kynleigh for her follow up and in tears I showed the doctor. He looked me over and said "well i think it's hand foot and mouth and there is nothing I can do but let it run its course..and oh by the way...it's a 10 day ordeal". Awesome! They took cultures from both of us and sent us home. Tylenol for the pain is all I was told. The reason Kynleigh couldnt eat was because she was in so much pain. But why could two different sets of professionals not accurately diagnose the first time around? They acted like I was crazy when I kept asking about the rash and pushing info on the rash. Frustrating! The mom always knows! Libby had a bit of it. She had diarrhea all weekend and has a rash on her back. I kept her home from school today but it was our turn for snack so I dropped her snack off only to be told it was going on in the class and that is where we all got it from. Anyway, I have a lot going on at the moment and I am struggling to keep up and function. I am easily aggravated, and quick to cry. Postpartum maybe? This isn't me at all. I am a strong person and can handle a lot but I am breaking so easy at this point. I keep praying for strength to get through this bump in the road. I think God is using this as a teaching moment, I am just not quite sure yet what it is. I am surrendering all control over to him. I am just taking it day by day. Today is Libby's hearing screening and my 6 week checkup. It's something everyday it seems. I am so blessed and thankful to have Brandon. I feel like at times he deserves better than me and that I don't measure up. I love him beyond words and I am just blessed and thankful that God brought us together. Keep the Cecil's in your prayers. : )