Throughout my pregnancy I have read and heard so much about the "baby blues" an postpartum depression. In fact I remember rolling my eyes when my nurse brought the subject up with me. "Yea, yea, whatever...won't happen to me", I thought. Well never say never cause it did! Libby is one week old today and the week has been a blur. So many people in and out of the house, combined with trying to figure out the whole "mom" thing is exhausting. People want to come and see the baby and hold her a way I dont want them to, or get in her face, or want to go in her room and touch her stuff. Of course people are just excited and have the best intentions but it is draining. The first few days I felt like I hadnt even had the chance to bond with her because everyone else was holding her. I had my first melt down on Sunday. It felt good to just cry and let it all out. I feel a world better since then. However I am still quick to cry or feel anxious. I hope that this feeling goes away soon along with my stretched out hanging belly. It is so depressing to not have any clothes to fit, be pale as a ghost, and swollen all over. Once I get back in shape I know I will feel a ton better. The best advice came from a friend that said, "it took you 9 months to get that way...it's going to take more than a few days to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight". That made me feel a ton better and put things back into perspective. Each day that goes by I know it will get easier and I keep reminding myself that. Dont get me wrong I love love love Libby Rose and wouldnt trade my situation for the world. It is just going to take some time getting use to my new life.
On another sad note, I had another good cry yesterday but it was for a good reason. My dr. that I had spent so much time with going to see so frequently and fortunately got to deliver Libby had a massive heart attack and may not be out of the woods of surviving. The news hit me like a ton of bricks. It just puts things in perspective and makes you realize that you should never take life for granted. You never know when a day may be your last. Enjoy life and thank God everyday for the many blessings that you have.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Joni it is your hormones dropping fast trying to get back to normal after the baby, but if it keeps up then you might want to see a doctor to get some n antidepressant medicine. It should help get your hormones back to normal. After I had my first baby I felt the same way you did. Its like you can cry at any little thing that goes wrong. I found myself snaping at people for no reason. I felt I was fat and ugly after having a baby. Joni it gets better and now that you know what going on you can try to figure out how to help yourself enjoy life with a new baby.
ReplyDeleteAM deeply sorry to hear about your Dr.