I SURVIVED!!

The past weekend Brandon had a little bachelor getaway and I was left by myself with the kids from Friday night to Sunday late afternoon. Luckily I had a thirty-one party so my wonderful Aunt Lee Anne babysat during their nap on Sunday until Brandon came home. I ended up miraculously living through the weekend without Brandon.

I have to give it to my husband, he is so good at helping me and I am so thankful for him. I was jealous when he left but was glad he got to get away and get refreshed. Now I can hold over his head that I get to getaway too in the near future. I think a massage, pedicure day is in my near future! Anyway...the weekend was good but I had a blah day on Saturday. I was tired and cranky and just felt a little down and here is the scoop.....

God has blessed me so much with the success of my thirty-one business. When I first started with thirty-one I just wanted to do it as a hobby. My intentions were to maybe do 1 or 2 parties at most, no more. I had no interest in really recruiting or going above and beyond and thats what I loved about thirty-one. I was my own boss, I could do as much as I wanted and as little as I wanted. My first couple months I did just that, I only did a few parties a month but they ended up being high dollar parties. I just got lucky I guess at the beginning because I didn't really know what I was doing. As time went on I realized if I did even more parties, I would make more money as well as if I DID recruit then I would make more money. The more parties I did the more I started to love what I was doing and wanted to do more. I loved actually doing the parties and meeting people I would have never met before, I loved the administrative side of it, and then lastly I got so excited about what I did and shared it at my parties and then others wanted to do it too and wanted to join my team. And now....I am doing 4-6 parties a month (would take more if I had them) and have signed 8 recruits. That's right, I have created a team with 8 people! I kept thinking I just had good luck but I must be doing something right to be getting such success right? Selling thirty-one and having my own home based business that allows me to stay at home with my girls is so awesome!!! I am going through a slump right now because summer is the hardest time with people going on vacations, going to the pool, and ball games but I am still working my booty off to get through this summer slump and I am willing to do it because I love it just THAT much!

Now to get to the blah part.....I just had one of those days where I feel like I can't be perfect at everything and that is hard. I can't answer 8 recruits questions through text and emails right away or get the house as clean as I want or book as many summer parties as I want or be the best mom and wife that I want to be. I feel like there is never enough hours in the day to get done as much as I want but then I realized its okay! Its okay to need and ask for help. I have a part-time job that I do from home while watching these two precious rats who are tugging at my pants leg, while the other is crying, or I am trying to send a customer email and I turn around and Libby has covered Kynleigh up with blankets and is sitting on top of her. It is NEVER easy but who said it would be? And what I realized is what I complain about and want to rip my hair out and scream about is what I LOVE!!! I wouldnt change it for the world! How blessed am I that I get to stay at home and have an awesome job that I absolutely LOVE doing! The time management aspect is definitely hard but I got an encouraging card from my sweet upline leader just as I was about to lose my mind. She said : God 1st, Family 2nd, Personal Business 3rd, and Team Business 4th! I have to quit worrying about what others think of me or of what I am doing. I need to quit feeling like I need to explain to someone why I need help and have hired someone to come help me entertain the girls once a week. I know God knows what I am doing is right and that is all that matters. I owe it all to him!

I know some people have this glorious idea in their head that I get to frolick in the yard with my 2 angel children all day and we eat bon bons and watch soap operas. And then my job outside the home is to go to these parties and talk with women and eat their wonderful food and make money. WOW, if only it was that simple. I have a 2 year old with behavioral issues, a 9 month old that is all over the house, a business to run, a household to run, and a husband to keep happy enough to stick around..(only kidding). What I am saying though as on the outside it looks like I have it all together and I have it under control but the truth is that I am human and I am just as frazzled as anyone else and I need help just like everyone else. I don't know what I would do without the help and support of God, my husband,  my amazing parents, and close friends. Now I feel silly and guilty about my little funk I was in but hey we all have our moments. I am just glad I am not too proud to share mine!!!

Coming out of Blog Retirement...for a little bit anyway....

Oh my goodness! I have missed blogging but it has also been nice to cut out something in my life that I felt takes up some of my time when I can be doing something else. However, my life is too hectic, too funny, too complicated, and too crazy not to share. Being a stay at home is the VERY BEST job I could have ever received. It is the greatest gift God has given me. It is also one of the most challenging jobs at the same time. I have NEVER worked so hard in my life but I am loving every minute of it!

To play a little catch up for those who remember from previous posts, Libby was involved with First Steps. She was receiving services for speech. At 18 months old she had ZERO words and was just making a few animal sounds. Now at 2 years old and almost 2 months, she is talking up a storm. Sometimes I wonder why I didn't leave it alone..haha..only kidding. Some of the stuff she says impresses me. The child is so smart it is ridiculous and it makes it hard to always have to be a step ahead of her. Being smarter than a 2 year old is a constant challenge. She keeps me on my toes for sure! So to get to the point...Libby has officially tested out of speech because she has met or exceeded her goals. However, she still is receiving services through First Steps for BEHAVIOR...wa wa waaaaaaaa. Yes my little dirty blonde blue eyed precious angel is really a bad A$$!! We have someone come into our home on a weekly basis to work with me and Libby and then we have a behavior therapist make a trip from Frankfort 2 times a month to consult. Libby is one stubborn cookie! She does not accept no, she kicks, she bites, she whines, she scratches, she hits...she does it all! I feel like the poor child sits in time out half the day. We are working on it and it is a constant struggle but she will eventually learn. She is stubborn as a mule. When she gets an idea in her head, its her way or no way and no one will stop her (so she thinks). She is so strong willed for her age. I am so glad that God has blessed her with the traits. Sounds crazy right? Well if you think about it, as an adult I am super thrilled that my daughter is strong, independent, thinks for herself, stands up for herself, and doesnt put up with anything. However, these aren't such great traits as a child and she needs to learn there are boundaries! To help me not want to kill her every minute of the day, God has also blessed her with the best personality. She is funny, creative, smart, and keeps me laughing all day long! I laugh until I cry at least once a day. I know that's God's way of keeping me strong  and help me love her through the tantrums. Libby has difficulty transitioning in activities, and has a hard time being directed without turning aggressive. As long as she is happy she is good but when its time to transition, leave an activity, be told no, it's on like donkey kong! lol.

To get to my point finally.....God has created all children differently! So much of a child's personality is formed at birth. To say that isn't true is to say that God has created us all the same which is certainly not true. We can try to teach a child what is right, what is wrong, but so much is innate. They see the world from such a different way and perspective. I never taught Libby to hit or bite, she did that on her own. All I can do is teach her that is wrong. Kynleigh (who is now 9 months) is the total opposite of Libby. She is laid back, happy, easy-going, calm, hardly ever upset. She is so good. At this age, kids are learning and exploring their boundaries. For someone, especially who does not have children to judge me, my parenting and my child when she is in a fit of rage is ridiculous. I have two children from both the same mother and father that are complete opposites. I did not teach Libby to be the way she is, and nothing I did made her the way she is. To judge me just makes you look ignorant. Everyone has an opinion on how they would do it or what I am doing wrong but if you dont live in my shoes on a daily basis it's best to keep your thoughts to yourself cause you have no idea. I have really struggled with people's looks, stares, comments, etc. I have prayed about it and have moved on. I dont hold anything against anyone but it does hurt and it is unfair.

Well I will stop there but there is so much more to come so stay tuned : )

It's Been a While....

It has been so long since I blogged that I guessed my password incorrectly twice! I have been super busy but not blogging was on purpose. I get so bogged down because I have "so much to do" yet I realized it's extra stuff that I put on myself, not things that necessarily have to be done. I had pretty much decided to stop blogging permanently and that is probably still the plan. My days are filled with house work, bills, taking care of and playing with the girls, laundry, preparing thirty-one stuff, working at dance, taking Libby to dance, etc. For my mental health if I have a free hour then I want to use it to take a nap, or lay down and watch a dvr. I was blogging for fun and then it turned into something I had to do because someone was waiting on my next post. I have learned to take a step back and realize what's important, and what is a priority and what is not. I want to enjoy that I stayed home with my girls when they were young...not look back and realize that even though I was here with them my mind was elsewhere..(what is for dinner, what time do I need to get them down for nap, what do i need at the grocery...it goes on and on). So that is why I have decided to stop. I am still on facebook and I post pics so people can still find out what is going on with the Cecil's!
The girls are doing well, Libby talks more and more everyday. Kynleigh rolls all over the place, jumps in her jumperoo, eats constantly and smiles all the time. Love them soo so much! I guess that is all....

Catch Up

I have so much on my to do list that I should be doing right now while the girls are napping, however I thought I better go ahead and give a Cecil Family update while I was thinking about it. Kynleigh turned 3 months old last week. She is still sleeping through the night and I just want to hold and squeeze her all the time. Libby is still obsessed with Elmo. She wants to color Elmo, watch Elmo on dvd, watch Elmo on our phones on youtube, get her diaper changed to the one with Elmo on it...she loves it. She also continues to have an obsession with "wawa" and ice. She likes playing in it, drinking it, spilling it on the floor, herself, etc. She picks up a few words each week and is already starting to put two words together. Speech is helping but I also think she just wasn't ready to talk before and now she is. She is at least able to communicate the basics which is what I was wanting her to be able to do. We had an incident with Libby's class before Thanksgiving break. Her teacher got caught by my friend yelling at her coming down the stairs. Not okay in my book. If I don't yell at my child, you sure as heck aren't going to be able to. She can be stubborn, mean, bite, scratch, pinch, strong-willed, grouchy, whiney, etc but I cannot remember a time that I found it necessary to yell at her. She is only 19 months old. What could she possibly do that is that bad to need to be yelled at? She can be sweet, lovable, funny, caring, silly, curious, sassy, etc. I love her to pieces. The ironic thing is what I love about her is that she is flat out rotten and sassy, and what I love about her sister is she is calm, and laid back. They are so different and I love them both so much. One of my biggest fears about being pregnant with Kynleigh is loving her as much as Libby. It is just something you can't explain until you are a parent of more than one child but you really do love them both the same. I couldn't comprehend sharing my love between two but somehow it works. I can't get enough of either one them. I can't wait for them to take a nap and then when they do I can't wait for them to wake up! I can't wait until the girls are teenagers and go back and read this post and wonder what the heck I was smoking when I wrote this lol. But I am going to enjoy them and love on them while they are still sweet. Thanksgiving was good. The best part was Brandon being home with us for a few days and not having to work. I enjoyed our family time together. We got to take the girls to see Santa for their pic. Both of them did great! Well enough rambling...it's time to get back to the "to-do" list.....

Im Back!!

Whew..okay it's been a while. It has been super busy with the Cecil Family. Updates: Kynleigh is getting fatter by the day, Libby is talking & signing all the time, I chopped my hair off, we went to Gatlinburg and it was super fun, Libby is 19 months now and KG is almost 3 months, Libby wears hairbows now, Jeter has returned back to sleeping with us, mom sold Mamaw's house, I am having some issues with the IUD.....Okay I guess that is all the major things. I have to go back to OB in the morning for an ultrasound. We think the IUD is trying to come out. Keep me in your prayers that is all it is and not placenta left over again. If I have to do another D&C I will cry. Kynleigh has stayed healthy and I love that fat baby beyond words. She is so stinking sweet. Glad she wasn't my first babe or she would have spoiled me. I am getting super pumped about Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have done most of the girls' shopping. I am gonna try to do better at blogging! I have been so blessed to stay busy with 31, as well as running a household of craziness. I am tired all the time due to my female issues but I am hoping to get that taken care of asap! I am constantly cleaning, doing laundry, feeding a baby, speech therapy with Libby, working at dance, balancing check book, wiping poop butts, making grocery lists, cleaning up Libby's messes, folding clothes, putting them away, it never ends...but I love my life, love my girls, and I wouldn't change a darn thing. : )

Cecil Family Update

A lot has changed since my last post. First off, I am feeling great! I got some Celexa from my OB and I feel a million times better! I am less stressed, calmer, nicer, and feel wonderful. With Libby, I definitely had the baby blues the first few weeks. With Kynleigh I wasn't sad or depressed, I was just anxious, stressed, easily annoyed, and every little thing aggravated me. I felt my blood pressure rise with every little stressful situation. It was a completely different post partum experience. I am so glad I feel so much better!

Kynleigh is on soy formula. She seems to be doing better. She is still fussy at times and has "bad feedings" (belly rumbles, tenses up, fusses out in gas pain,etc). It is nothing near what it was though. She has improved greatly and I hope it stays this way.

Libby will be receiving speech services from First Steps! Woohoo! She did excellent at her evaluation. She is super smart...duh...but she is not where she needs to be with language. We have a meeting on Monday to determine her goals and how often she will get services. I can't wait! We are currently gradually taking away the pacifier. So far she is doing good with it. She gets it in bed, at night time, or when she gets upset. Other than that it stays put up. She has also improved at school. No wrath of the midget bully lately. Her Halloween party is at school on Monday and Brandon and I are looking forward to it! I will have to post a pic for sure!!

Ok Lord You Have My Attention

The last month and a half have been extremely exhausting both emotionally and physically. I would say I am broken. God has brought me to my knees. I am just waiting patiently and praying to see what he is trying to teach me. Ironically the day of my last post when I was saying I didn't want to go back to UK hospital, I ended up back that very day. Kynleigh was having trouble eating, very fussy, and broken out in a horrible rash all over her body but mostly on her face. I took her to the pediatrician and he was worried about something abdominal. I couldnt help but shake the feeling that the rash was a big part of what was going on but he blew it off. He sent me to UK peds E.R. We were there for like 9 hours. I had nothing to eat all day. It was exhausting. I got to the point I couldnt take it any longer. They said it was a virus, again downplayed the rash, and she was dehydrated. They pumped her with i.v. fluids. The next day I woke up with a rash. I was convinced it was bed bugs. haha. It wasn't funny then but it is now. They were itchy but nothing major. That night I went to bed and my throat was so sore I couldn't talk, and my hands and feet were on fire. I did not sleep at all that night. (okay 2 hours tops!) I got up and looked in the mirror the next morning and I was covered in red blisters from head to toe. Predominately on my hands and feet. It hurt so bad. I can't even begin to explain how bad. I took Kynleigh for her follow up and in tears I showed the doctor. He looked me over and said "well i think it's hand foot and mouth and there is nothing I can do but let it run its course..and oh by the way...it's a 10 day ordeal". Awesome! They took cultures from both of us and sent us home. Tylenol for the pain is all I was told. The reason Kynleigh couldnt eat was because she was in so much pain. But why could two different sets of professionals not accurately diagnose the first time around? They acted like I was crazy when I kept asking about the rash and pushing info on the rash. Frustrating! The mom always knows! Libby had a bit of it. She had diarrhea all weekend and has a rash on her back. I kept her home from school today but it was our turn for snack so I dropped her snack off only to be told it was going on in the class and that is where we all got it from. Anyway, I have a lot going on at the moment and I am struggling to keep up and function. I am easily aggravated, and quick to cry. Postpartum maybe? This isn't me at all. I am a strong person and can handle a lot but I am breaking so easy at this point. I keep praying for strength to get through this bump in the road. I think God is using this as a teaching moment, I am just not quite sure yet what it is. I am surrendering all control over to him. I am just taking it day by day. Today is Libby's hearing screening and my 6 week checkup. It's something everyday it seems. I am so blessed and thankful to have Brandon. I feel like at times he deserves better than me and that I don't measure up. I love him beyond words and I am just blessed and thankful that God brought us together. Keep the Cecil's in your prayers. : )